Star Wars: Episode 3: Back In Black
by Prez Presley
Summary: I'm a janitor at Lucasfilm! I stole this script when I was cleaning George's office! This is what will be in EPisode 3.


Script for Episode 3: Back in Black  
  
  
I'm a janitor for LucasFilm! I stole this script off of Lucas's desk!  
Now I present what will happen in Episode 3: Back in Black, it's  
named that because Anakin turns to the darkside and AC/DC does the music   
for this movie, so much for John Williams.  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: if your piseed at the spelling, then don't bother being here,  
go to a Star Wars convention and be a freak or wait for Episode 3, there's  
already idiots camping out for it.  
  
Int/Yoda's Love Shack/night  
  
Yoda is in there, with girls played by J Lo, Spears, etc.  
  
Yoda:  
Anakin, Pimp he know not how to do.  
  
Girl 1:  
Trun on some tunes Yody.  
  
Yoda:  
Party on I do.  
  
He turns on "Red Hot Chili Peppers"  
  
Yoda:  
True men don't kill Coyotes!!!!!!!!  
  
There's a knock on the door.  
  
Yoda(Whispers):  
Girls, go to the secret compartment!  
  
They do and he opens the door, it's a Jedi Knight played by Sean Connery.  
  
Sean:  
Yoda, what's up, what were you doing?  
  
Yoda:  
Reading up on a few things, what are you doing here?  
  
Sean:  
The Clones are attacking! Darh Sideous says he'll  
make Jar Jar Binks a main charecter again if we don't  
surrender.  
  
Yoda:  
Then what the &^%$ are you doing! Send some  
Jedi's like Obi-Wan and Anakin there.  
  
Sean:  
How about you sir?  
  
Yoda:  
I have some....uh....bussiness to attend to.  
  
Int/Emperor Palpitine's chamber/night  
  
Anakin is there with Palpitine.  
  
Anakin:  
It's Obi-Wan, he's treating me like a baby!  
  
Palpitine:  
Kill him, turn to the dark side!  
  
Anakin:  
No! Never!  
  
Palpitine:  
You get a free Mr T T-Shirt with each membership.  
  
Anakin:  
Alright! I'm in!  
  
There's a call on Anakin's cell phone. He answers it.  
  
Obi-Wan(On Phone):  
Anakin, come over here! the clones with Darth Sideous   
is here. You gotta help.  
  
Anakin:  
I'll be there.  
  
He hangs up.  
  
Palpitine:  
Go there and kill him.  
  
Anakin:  
I pity the foo' who don't turn to the Dark Side.  
  
He leaves and goes on a pod.  
  
Palpitine:  
That's boys obbeseed with the T-Shirt. I need someone  
else to turn to the dark side, I already got Robin   
Williams with the Insomnia movie.  
  
He gets phone.  
  
Palpitine:  
Maybe Carrotop will.  
  
Int/Battlefield/night  
  
The battlefield is in a volcanic area.  
  
Samuel L Jackson is there flying around in his pod.  
  
Jackson:  
I'm so cool, and I have a purple lightsaber! I  
wonder why I'm not in the origional trilogy?  
  
Anakin shoots his plane down.  
  
Obi-Wan:  
Anakin! Get your @$$ down here now. You just  
killed our only minority. The NAACP is gonna kill  
us.  
  
Obi Wan has lightsaber down. Anakin jumps down to him with saber.  
  
Obi-Wan:  
Were ending this now!  
  
Anakin:  
The fight to the dark side?  
  
Obi-Wan:  
Hell no, the fight to see who'll get  
Portman!  
  
Anakin:  
You! So your Luke and Leia's father.  
  
Obi-Wan:  
No, Chewbaca is!  
  
Anakin tries to kill him , Obi slashes his mechanical arm off.  
  
Anakin:  
Yaaaaaaaaaa!  
  
Obi-Wan:  
Dude, it's mecahnical, it can't hurt.  
  
Anakin falls in Lava.  
  
Obi:  
*&^%.  
  
Obi-Wan grabs him and takes him to Hospitsl ship.  
  
Int/Hospital/day  
  
obi-Wan is in there with Doctor.  
  
Obi-Wan:  
How is he?  
  
Doctor:  
Ever seen Darkman?  
  
Obi-Wan:  
No.  
  
Doctor:  
Good, it's a lousy movie.  
  
He shows him Anakin.  
  
Obi:  
Wow, what a big piece of fried chicken!  
  
They put the Darth Vader suit on Anakin.  
  
Obi-Wan:  
Shouldn't the cold suit be white?  
  
Doctor:  
Oh, well, this is the only reasonable explanation of how  
he got the suit. What is he gonna do? Go to Darth   
Sideous naked and get one?  
  
Obi-Wan:  
Why did the Chicken cross the road?  
  
Doctor:  
Why?  
  
Obi:  
So he could be unfried and join the dark side.  
  
Doctor:  
Stick to drama Ben.  
  
Anakin wakes up.  
  
Anakin:  
Mirror.....  
  
Doctor:  
That's the last thing you ever want.  
  
Anakin:  
Mirror!  
  
Doctor:  
Sure thing.  
  
He gives him mirror.  
  
Obi-Wan:  
You can cancel any dates your planning with your GF.  
  
He smashes mirro and runs outside.  
  
Doctor:  
Perhaps I should of told him I was Michael  
Jackson's surgeon.  
  
Int/Palpitine's/night  
  
he runs in.  
  
Anakin:  
Look what he did to me!  
  
Palpitine:  
#@$%, wear this suit.  
  
He puts on the Darth Vader suit.  
  
Palpitine:  
It was Al Pacino's prom suit.  
  
Darth:  
What can i do now?  
  
Palpitine:  
Your the most powerful thing in the universe now,  
follow Sideous.  
  
He revels himself as Sideous when he puts the cloak on.  
  
Darth:  
I knew it all along, I noticed the voice.  
  
Palptine:  
Hey, people are stupid. Just go to a Star Wars  
convention or talk to someone wating for this  
piece of crap to come to the theader 3 weeks before  
it's released.  
  
Darth:  
Should I get my GF to the dark side?  
  
Palpitine:  
And your kids!  
  
Darth:  
She had kids!  
  
Palpitine:  
She put them up for adoption so her dad wouldn't  
slit your throat.  
  
Darth:  
Who has them now?  
  
Palpitine:  
Rosie O Donnel, opps, she's in Florida, can't.  
Bill Murry does now.  
  
Darth:  
Caddyshack! I need to see that movie sometime.  
  
Palptine:  
Get to work! I don't pay you to watch old  
school SNL.  
  
Queen Amadala's/day  
  
He goes inside her palace with suit on.  
  
Amadala:  
Who are you! Help!  
  
Darth:  
It's me, Anakin.  
  
  
Amadala:  
Anakin! I was so worried about you.  
  
Darth:  
Where's the kids?  
  
Amadala:  
I had a abortion.  
  
Darth:  
Don't lie! I know what happened! I want them on the  
Dark Side!  
  
Amadala:  
Never!  
  
Darth:  
Then you'll go to the Dark Side!  
  
Amadala:  
In hell!  
  
She whacks herself with Darth's lightsaber.  
  
Darth:  
If I were in the theader watching this I'd laugh my  
@$$ off of it's stupidity.  
  
Int/Tatooine/day  
  
Obi-Wan hides in a hut.  
  
Obi-Wan:  
I'll live here, so Anakin won't kill me.  
  
He turns on TV.  
  
Obi-Wan:  
Untill then, i'll watch Old School Seinfeld.  
  
The TV is on.  
  
Kramer:  
Have you seen The Star Wars Anniverey addition.  
  
Seineld:  
Is it god.  
  
Kramer:  
You get to see Jar Jar sing Van Halen's "Everybody   
Wants some"  
  
Obi-Wan:  
I'm gonna have to see that.  
  
The End? Pretty much!  
  
Afterwords: Hey Star Wars fans! I bet you through I forgot Dooku! Nope, he   
hid out cause he figured Anakin would kill him. So he went to Morodor and  
became Saruman and became a evil wizard. 


End file.
